Why We Must Take Stock By Oscar McPhee

The American Journal of Sporting Opinion
14 April 2008
Vol. 12, pg. 586-589

"Why We Must Take Stock"
by Oscar McPhee

Friends, readers, sporting enthusiasts. Thank you for taking your busy time on the toilet to hear us opine on our greatest passion, the world of sports. I believe that I can speak for all of our authors when I say that it is a wonderful pleasure to bring you cutting-edge sports opinion from the arenas of Denver to the ironing boards of the Amazon jungle.

But my mind turns precipitously when I consider the opinion piece posted by Michael Jordam in last week's issue. Therein, Jordam claimed that we had forgotten him, that the glories of the sporting greats were going unnoticed in this new zine. Sure, Jordam's article was barely intelligible, laughably short, and formatted ridiculously. But these errors did not dull the pinpoint accuracy of his criticism. I agree with Jordam.

In trying to carve out a niche in today's over-loaded sporting news market, The American Journal of Sporting Opinion has done an admirable job of covering sports overlooked by the press at large. Indeed, where else is one to find the latest greatest news about field hockey websites and competitive ironing all under one glorious, line-drawing filled roof? But I feel that this steadfast devotion to utter obscurity and, at times, total nonsense, has left readers wondering; where is the majesty? Where are the mythical greats of the sporting world, the legends that my children will love more than me, the men who, for three hours at a time, transport me out of the deadly tedium of my horrendous life? In short, Where is the Love?

All writers for the American Journal of Sporting Opinion: it's time to take stock. Time to consider our passion for sports and explode that passion onto the page, even if it means sometimes overlapping sports coverage with the giants. It's OK; the giants have accurate information, but we have the intensity and zeal and zany hilarity to put these great sporting moments in their proper context. It's time to stop hiding behind our line drawings, to see the real world as one of excitement, allure, and occasionally an actual photograph. Time to grow up, and be Men.