The American Journal of Sporting Opinion
19 April 2008
Vol. 18, pg. 76-80
Time In!
by Oscar McPhee
Hey basketball fans! How familiar is this scenario? Team A scores a basket, team B takes it up court and doesn't score, team A scores again on their next trip down, Team B calls time out? It happens like eight dozen times every basketball game, so if your answer was "not all that familiar", you're just being unnecessarily contrary, and I don't appreciate your attitude. Apologize now so we can move on.
I'm waiting.
Thank you. That was big of you.
Today's NBA playoff action saw no shortage of white men in suits demanding their big black basketballers come over and watch them draw squigglies on a clipboard and pretend to not be watching them fiiiine cheerleaders shaking that ass ten feet away. The Suns-Spurs double overtime thriller took about 18 hours with all the hemming and hawing and scheming by these overseers. And guess how the deciding play happened? Steve Nash nailed a 3 with seconds to go, and instead of taking a timeout, Manu Ginobli brought the ball up the floor, made a move, and hit a tough shot. Game over.
Cause guess what? All that time you're spending preparing your team for the greatest play in history? The other team is scheming up some sort of retardedly impossible defense to counteract it! All you're doing is wasting time the players could be using to do their job, i.e. play some baskers!
And aren't these guys paid to play basketball? Shouldn't people who make millions of dollars for doing something be able to do it without stopping every 3 minutes or so to be yelled at by an old man? I'm pretty sure Donald Trump doesn't get constant phone calls from Andrew Carnegie's ghost about how to fuck over another small business. He just whips out his big businessman's dick and gets it done.
If only people like Kobe Bryant could do their raping on a basketball court instead of a Colorado hotel room, we'd all be a lot happier with our perverted, disgusting, depraved NBA action.
19 April 2008
Vol. 18, pg. 76-80
Time In!
by Oscar McPhee
Hey basketball fans! How familiar is this scenario? Team A scores a basket, team B takes it up court and doesn't score, team A scores again on their next trip down, Team B calls time out? It happens like eight dozen times every basketball game, so if your answer was "not all that familiar", you're just being unnecessarily contrary, and I don't appreciate your attitude. Apologize now so we can move on.I'm waiting.
Thank you. That was big of you.
Today's NBA playoff action saw no shortage of white men in suits demanding their big black basketballers come over and watch them draw squigglies on a clipboard and pretend to not be watching them fiiiine cheerleaders shaking that ass ten feet away. The Suns-Spurs double overtime thriller took about 18 hours with all the hemming and hawing and scheming by these overseers. And guess how the deciding play happened? Steve Nash nailed a 3 with seconds to go, and instead of taking a timeout, Manu Ginobli brought the ball up the floor, made a move, and hit a tough shot. Game over.
Cause guess what? All that time you're spending preparing your team for the greatest play in history? The other team is scheming up some sort of retardedly impossible defense to counteract it! All you're doing is wasting time the players could be using to do their job, i.e. play some baskers!
And aren't these guys paid to play basketball? Shouldn't people who make millions of dollars for doing something be able to do it without stopping every 3 minutes or so to be yelled at by an old man? I'm pretty sure Donald Trump doesn't get constant phone calls from Andrew Carnegie's ghost about how to fuck over another small business. He just whips out his big businessman's dick and gets it done.
If only people like Kobe Bryant could do their raping on a basketball court instead of a Colorado hotel room, we'd all be a lot happier with our perverted, disgusting, depraved NBA action.
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