Why I Did It By B. Bryant Rancier

The American Journal of Sporting Opinion
9 April 2008
Vol. 8, pp. 10-12

"Why I Did It"
by B. Bryant Rancier

Much has been suggested about my motives in both the original ranking of friends in the year of our Lord 2007, and the consequent friendout tournament in the year of our Lord 2008. I would like to respond with some input of my own, however meandering it may very well be. But Brendan, you ask, is this not the American Journal of Sporting Opinion? Would offering your explanation for a contest that you yourself organized and conducted under any circumstances be considered an opinion rather than straight fact? Well, my good man, facts are tangible commidities which one can prove through reasoned assumption. Is the Holstien black and white? Why, I've never seen a bovine of that persuasion that is not those colors, so I'd say that yes, that is a "fact". That you may not have witnessed this creature in all of it's splendor before changes nothing, for there are agriculturists, veterinarians, biologists, milkmaids and encyclopedias which can confirm the animal's color for you.

I cannot prove the intangibles, those persistent nuggets of inclination that flitter about my weary transcem. Not only are my thoughts and feelings by their very nature subjective, but what truely makes the following explanation opinion rather than fact, is that I often-and this case is no exception-have a difficult time identifying emotions, rationales, motives, and intuitions within my own mental capacity. That is to say, what I offer is an "opinion" on why I did what I did, because I do not know for certain. As it has been aforeto acknowledged, alcohol and marihuana abuse has ravaged my mind to the precarious brink of madness, so to expect a logical, fact-filled report on what exactly was behind the friendout would be wishful thinking.

My first opinion-driven suggestion is boredom. I am bored. I am bored sitting at a computer all day, I am bored being in the same city all the time, I am bored because I am so broke I can't go out anymore, aye, I am bored with life. The next thing, which oft goes part and parcel with boredom, is distraction. I need to find things to distract me or my boredom will be spent in a toxic state of misery, anxiety, and loneliness.

Why did I choose a tournament of friends to distract me? Simply put, I love my friends... and I love competition. I thought it would be more amusing to pit my friends against eachother in a game of chance than just watch a sporting event or bother my friends, most of which have jobs and are a lot busier than me. As we all witnessed, in this fantasy world of the tournament, anything could, and sometimes did, happen. Not only was it strangely exciting for the fans, but in a very personal way, the seemingly miraculous achievements, the unexpected twists and turns, served as a source of inspiration for me. Success against all odds, e pluibus unum, these sentiments, expressed through sport, took on a profound resonance for the realities I face daily.

The tournament, not just the games themselves, but the drama off the courts, gave me something to be excited about, something to get all wrapped up in, something to forget or postpone all of the crap that I have grown tired of thinking about. I know I've offended some people by the bold notion of ranking or seeding friends, by choosing an ultimate friend, etc, but the fact of the matter is that the contest was not about my friends, and their ranks or seedings did not neccessarily reflect my feelings about them as human beings, or even as friends. I think I made these points clear the first time around. What the tournament was about was ME, an arguably selfish, attention-hungry shadow of his former self, hopelessly desperate for an excuse to welcome each new day. That may be why I did it.