The American Journal of Sporting Opinion
17 May 2008
Vol. 34, Pg. 76-95
"Treavis' Roid Rampage"
by Oscar McPhee
For all you ACCION softball fans who worried about the slow start of both teams on Wednesday, fear not! Shameeka's (purposely misspelled) team got off the schnide in a big way this afternoon at ACCION field.The game started innocently enough, the other team's tiny pitcher thowing a few more balls than strikes but generally keeping it together up there. But a few walks and line drives later, all was not right in "other team-ville". The first game of today's doubleheader took 3 and a half innings and had a final score of 15-3 (by rule, if one team is up by more than ten runs after the other team has come up to bat four times, the mercy rule is invoked). Game two saw mercy called much earlier, via a 17-0 2 inning romp. Other Team used just about every player they had to try to get the ball over the plate, and when they did our hitters rained terror on Other Team's fielders. It was just the kind of confidence boost those ACCION playas needed.
Player of the game I.M.O. was my team's stalwart, giant afro'd Treavis, who showed up on the off chance that Shameeka's team wouldn't have enough players. He had a solid outing in left field, but his true value was at the plate. With two men on in the first inning of game two, Treavis crushed a ball against a brick wall over the left field fence, easily a couple hundred feet from the plate. And it hit the wall high, at least twenty feet up I'd say, meaning his shot's "actual distance" was much further. He followed this by legging out an inside-the-park home run in the second inning, again with two men on base. I made him drink a Top Pop and give me a urine sample before he left, so we should know what sort of drugs are coursing through his wiry frame by Monday.
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