Motocross? More Like Scrotocross! By Oscar McPhee

The American Journal of Sporting Opinion

10 May 2008
Vol. 30, pg. 27-46

"Motocross! More like Scrotocross!"

by Oscar McPhee

Hey, I had to watch something for work tonight, and that thing was the AMF Supercross Lites somethingorother on Speedvision. Basically it's those little stupid motorcycles kids have been buzzing around Harlem on, except these guys are white and older and sound dumber in interviews and go over big dirt hills and fall a lot!

What was most funny was that everyone interviewed had a can of Monster energy drink. And between each question and comment of "Yea dude, I was just like tryin to run my race out there", they'd take a huge staged gulp. They also had dumb names like Ryan Villapoto, Trey Canard, and Oscar McPhee! Just kidding, it's Austin Stroupe, and he won his heat because he and his trainer have been so focused on this 2 o clock on a Saturday afternoon motocross bonanza it's making his head hurt! That is, until he has his codeine-riddled swig of MonsterrrrrR.

Loyal reader(s) (plural? who am I kidding?), I know the tone of this blogg has taken a dive, but I've been up since 7:30 this morning and it's 1:15 AM and I'm still at work. SO LEMME BE!

Anything else to say about Motocross? Text your comments now to 1-900-MOTOANDMONSTER4EVA. You might have to dial 9 first.