Jizz Game

Jizz Game
The American Journal of Sporting Opinion
14 June 2008
Vol. 22, Annex 15 pp. 22-29

by Marty

Baseball, seen by many as a bastion of American Glory, fades from her consciousness to her subconsciousness to her subalternconsciousness until it is a relic of the past. Hotdogs on hot days a distant memory, teens across the providence U.S.A. are freaking for "Jizz Game." Easily the most extreme of a sporting culture now in the throws of a hypoxia of extremity, "Jizz Game," or JG, or The Magnificent Sporting Competition (its really just a matter of regional preference) has already claimed the lives of four of its younger players. What could be viewed as a tragedy though has brought increased interest to a phenomonen already viraling out of control on the internet.
At faculty dinner parties and speaking engagments, attempts to explain what goes on at a "Jizz Game "match"" always fall short of capturing the hysteria, the triumph, the pain of what transpires in schoolyards and schools and houses and apartments. Yeah though I walk down that road once again in the interest of setting description to page and page to the annals of history.
One participant, lets call him Geoffrey, stands astride and with his back aligned, perpindicular to the ground, he begins masturbating fervently. The other participant, again, for convenience sake, also named Geoffrey pours lead based paint of a pastel shade onto the torso and feet of masturbating Geoffrey. Geoffrey pours the paint slowly, but as soon as the paint has been fully dispatched, Geoffrey takes off like a fire cracker to track down a Toyota 4Runner model hybrid SUV and begs its owner to loan it to him. Once in posession of the vehicle, Geoffrey drives at a rapid pace to where Geoffrey is masturbating still. Both participants wait with the engine running until the paint is fully dry, at which point Geoffrey leaps, cock in hand into the open trunk of the Toyota. Still masturbating furiously, Geoffrey and Geoffrey speed down Highway 7 until they reach the New Mexico state line, at which point Geoffrey bails on the truck and runs out into the desert thinking about his greatest failures and crying. Geoffrey continuines masturbating in the trunk for thirty more minutes and then finds the town councilman of whatever pincipality he finds himself in at that point, probably Mesa Valley.